Can I Help YOU? What 29 Years Of A Relationship Has Taught Me

Maybe it’s my upcoming wedding anniversary (April 22nd) that has me reflecting on what it takes to nurture and sustain a long-term relationship with a spouse. Full disclosure: this is not my first attempt to, well, sustain a long-term relationship with a spouse. Before finding, falling for and futuring with Meg, I had been married twice before: both short-term relationships that ended poorly. A couple of take-aways from those experiences include don’t get married before you’ve gotten to know yourself well (I was barely 23 the first time, and barely 27 the second time). Although I liked THE IDEA of being married, I was mature enough (or financially stable enough) to succeed in being a solid marital partner either time. Now, with almost 29 years of (mostly) long-term relationship bliss under my belt, I offer up the following “success nuggets”:


  • Grow up, both emotionally and vocationally, before saying “I Do”
  • Take a look at the big picture; you need to prepare to age together
  • Avoid “Silent Treatment” – style arguments, especially as you get older; those waste time
  • Appreciate your partner’s unique qualities and note them regularly
  • Try not to go to bed angry (an obvious one that isn’t always possible)


Here’s to all of you long-termers out there trying to keep it real…we’re with you 🙂